Menzies House

Labor's delusions blossom in the dust of defeat

The media analysis of Labor's defeat was very surprising. Like Rudd's bizarre speech acknowledging his party’s defeat, much of the coverage might have been mistaken for a victory celebration, writes Rudolf Vyborny at Quadrant.org.au

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The Thing About Kevin & The Shitsville Express

The last few months have been a hellish roller coaster ride, writes Assistant Managing Editor Timothy W. Humphries

Funnily enough, I remember during the 1980s a particularly colourful roller coaster ride at Dreamworld. Its gone now. However It used to slide in and out of view as our family barreled down the Pacific Highway to visit relatives on the Gold Coast.

I would argue we have entered a Dreamworld type era of twists and turns in Australian politics. Both sides of politics are setting themselves up as the answer in a political climate best described as 'disillusioned'. 

The Silly Putty Polly

Kevin Rudd thinks that he can recreate himself simply by supposing it to be so.

It is the same as sitting in a garage and whispering, “I’m an Alfa Romeo, I’m an Alfa Romeo, I’m an Alfa Romeo, Brmmm, Brmmm, BRMMM!”

Julia Gillard is similar. She morphs from time to time into new personas, the last two changes made with the aid of very simple props – specs.

In New Julia with Specs #1 she was the steely eyed, jaw jutting defiant Julia, Destiny’s Mistress and re-incarnation of Catherine the Great.

In New Julia with Specs#2 she was the soft Julia. Granny Julia in a comfy chintzy chair bathed in subdued lighting with Vaseline smeared over the lens; peacefully knitting with that sleepy happy look that is only seen on the face of one who has downed a couple of Mandies with a full bottle of Chivas Regal.

The resurrection of Rudd pictorial

McTernan said this worked very well for Julia

Pity poor Reuben

by Wallace Grimsbury, political analyst.

It is entirely possible that as Julia and Tim pack up and leave The Lodge, our former PM could well be reflecting on US President Harry Truman’s observation that if you wanted a friend in Washington, you got a dog.

When it comes down to the dog eat dog world of politics, the latest leadership blood bath inside the ALP shows that they could teach our canine chums a thing or three about how to become leader of the pack.

In all of this, I am most concerned about Reuben – the sadly former First Dog.

He’s been happily living at The Lodge since November 2011 when he was given to Julia by Tim as a 50^th birthday present. Dog owners know that their pets can be quite distressed and disorientated by a sudden upset in their domestic circumstances and, after all, Reuben has done no wrong at all. In fact, he was probably Julia most devoted and unquestionably loyal supporter.

The viper's nest

Wonderful work ethics, trust and mutual respect.

Wednesday, hours before the ballot.

Senior Labor MPs confirmed they have signed a petition that calls for the spill of Gillard and ministers via a ballot expected to be held on Wednesday.

''The petition is getting a good head of steam up," a Rudd supporter said.

Hours after the ballot.

Gillard: "As you've been reporting, and others are reporting, there is apparently a petition circulating within the Labor Party to call for a leadership ballot," she told Sky News.

Those who backed the leadership challenge, when asked, conceded they had never seen the document, let alone signed it.

GC.Ed.@L.

When in doubt, knit

by Perkin-Warbeck

Now, ask yourself who is this famous knitter.

She “was imbued from her childhood with a brooding sense of wrong, and an inveterate hatred of class, opportunity had developed her into a tigress. She was absolutely without pity. If she had ever had the virtue in her, it had quite gone out of her.”

If you guessed our multi-talented PM you would be dead wrong – although you can be forgiven.

In fact, Charles Dickens was describing the infamous Madam Defarge in A Tale of Two Cities and one of the great female literary characters of all time. She was truly a monster - both smart and ruthless - and whose non-stop knitting became a record of all of those who went to the guillotine during the French Revolution.

Hello! I'm Granny Gillard

Gather round children while Granny Gillard teaches you how to knit a tangled web sock.

Lesson one: Knit one, purl one. Now do that about 300 billion times and that's how much debt I'm going to leave you poor little darlings. You see, Aunty Julia is always thinking of your future, after I've grabbed my chunk.

Lesson two: The one I'm knitting in the picture is is a nose warmer. Remember children, if you tell lots porkies your nose will grow just like Pinocchio's did and you will need a nose warmer for this winter of my discontent.

And, my little do gooders, I have not used any live animals in that picture, the dog is stuffed, exactly the same as the government I lead today - maybe tomorrow - I dunno after that. And that lovely, old chair? Tim found it on the tip - it was free. As you can see children, Granny Gillard is always saving for your future.

And, kiddies, don't worry about me not having a job, I've put away a bloody bundle for me old age. It's been fun, bye for now and jolly good luck. And, don't let mummy or daddy vote for that naughty Mr. Rudd.

GC.Ed.@L.