Menzies House: Humour

One roll of Coles “Soft and Strong” toilet paper is worth more than Al Gore’s book

Coles toilet paper double length 3 ply white 4pack $4.34 or $1.09 per roll.

And unlike Al Gore's "book" the toilet paper is actually quite useful.

Picture from the Galileo Movement

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06/01/2014 3:13:20 PM | Andy Semple, Humour

Climate Fanatics get trapped in Antarctic sea ice

One very funny Hitler spoof video - Watch it.

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05/01/2014 10:12:06 AM | Andy Semple, Humour, Videos

Headlines for year 2050

Via Andy’s Rant!

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the fourth largest country in the world - "Austiranstan" formerly known as Australia.
Tasmania executes last remaining Greenie.
White minorities still trying to have English recognised as Austiranstan’s (Australia's) fifth official language.
Children from a two-parent heterosexual family are bullied in school for being “different”. The government urges tolerance.
Gay marriages now overtake heterosexual marriages as preferred “lifestyle” choice.
Melbourne schoolgirl expelled for not wearing Burqa. “Sharia law must be enforced. Being a Christian is no excuse,” says school. Federal Labor Education Minister backs school.
Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct and the scientific research fleet is presently unemployed. The Austiranstan (formerly the Australian) Government has told the Japanese that Cane Toads taste like whale meat.
Austiranstan (Australia) now has twenty Universities of Political Correctness.
After a 47 year roll-out and at a cost of $2 trillion dollars, the last house is finally connected to the NBN.
Professor Goldman of Bob Brown University (formerly ANU) says, “There is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.”
Austiranstan (Australian) Deficit hits $45 trillion dollars and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Labor Prime Minister Mohammed Abdul Yousuf claims, “Increased growth through more immigration is the secret to our success.”
Opposition decries the Governments border protection policies as the 15,000^th boat leaves Austiranstan (Australia) for Indonesia.
Conservatives within the Indonesian government demand to know why they are still giving Austiranstan (Australia) $25 billion annually in foreign aid. Demand the boats stop arriving.
Wall Street banks merge to form new super bank, Goldman, Rothschild, Ebenezer, Epstein & Drescher (GREED). Huge billion dollar bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists amazed.
Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate it will take at least twenty more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic countries. No other country volunteers to come forward to help the beleaguered nation.
US President Jose Manuel Rodriguez Clinton-Palin says he will run for fourth term as US President in 2052.
Austiranstan (Australia) Post raises price of stamps to $52 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
As a hangover from Greens policies from the early 21^st century, the Labor government has confirmed that consumers will not receive an increase to their weekly electricity allowance of 3 hours as promised at the last election.
The Youtube video of Prime Minister Mohammed Abdul Yousuf breaking his election promise, “There will be an increase in your electricity allowance under the government I lead,” goes viral.
Climate scientists still baffled as to why the Maldives still hasn’t sunk as predicted by the IPCC.
Dr. Tim Flannery still predicts no rain for Austiranstan (Australia).
Families earning more than $250,000 will have the pay the Government an additional 30% premium for the privilege of being able to afford private health insurance.
After a ten year $85.8 billion study, commissioned by the Labor Party and the Greens, scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of an Austiranstani (Australian) drops from 130kgs to 125kgs.
Global cooling blamed for wheat and citrus crop failure for tenth consecutive year in Victoriastan and New South Iraq.
Austiranstan (Australian) Senate still blocking drilling in the Canberra region, even though petrol is selling for $120 per litre and petrol stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
After a 35 year absence, McDonalds still declares it is not safe to bring back the “Double Beef and Bacon burger.”
Halal Hut opens its 10,000^th restaurant.
Austiranstan (Australian) High Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Victims are to be held partly responsible for the crime.
New federal laws requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, pens, fly swatters and rolled-up News Limited newspapers must be registered by January 2051 as lethal weapons.
Austiranstan (Australian) Tax Office sets lowest personal tax rate in decades at 85%, but the GST remains at 35%. Greens demanded the GST should be 50%.
Fair Work Austiranstan (Australian) to finally announce its findings involving former Labor MP Craig Thomson.
Former boxer now Sheikh Anthony Mundine celebrates the conversion of the NRL into Islam.
Brisbane Broncos won this year’s NRL final beating the Afghan Avengers 22 to 20.