Menzies House

They do protest to much!

Further to Andy's comments about the climate protestors; the following was an exchange on social media this afternoon:

With media reports speculating about a double dissolution, this issue has a long way to go yet! 

The gift that keeps on giving

EXCLUSIVE:

 by Perkin-Warbeck

With the Shorten – Albanese road show over, the ALP had exhausted its rather limited appreciation of the virtue of appearing nice and it set about in the time-honoured way of having the factions decide who should be on the front bench.

And, predictably, it was a bloodbath and a public relations disaster. There was a vicious non-holds-barred fight for the spoils of defeat. 

PM Abbott probably can’t believe his luck that the Labor factions have recycled those who were such notable failures during the six years of Rudd – Gillard – Rudd. Every time they appear on TV or anywhere for that matter, Australians will be reminded just why they sent them to the wilderness. For Abbott, the ALP is the gift that keeps on giving.

The Opposition now is looking more like a disgruntled government-in-exile just waiting for voters to realise what a silly mistake they made tossing them out. With this attitude, they will be as relevant to Australia’s future as the Crown Council of Ethiopa is to that that country. Based in Washington, this sad little self-deluded bunch is hoping the monarchy, driven out in 1975, will be restored.

The ALP leadership campaign

EXCLUSIVE:

Perkin-Warbeck

Labor’s two leadership aspirants, Antony Albanese and Bill Shorten are, allegedly, in a life and struggle for the hearts and minds of the ALP membership – and wherever they go with their so-called “debates”, they stir up apathy to an almost unprecedented extent.

Presenting as Tweedledum and Tweedledee, the two have agreed that the legacies of the Rudd-Gillard-Rudd Governments are holy writ and triumphs of compassion, commitment and decency, that – yes – there may have been one or two minor and regrettable lapses of common sense during those six years but that the ALP will sweep to power in 2016 especially under their leadership.

It seems they have also agreed that they are both intellectually brilliant, have superb leadership skills, are possessed of a reforming and campaigning zeal and are inclusive, noble, sophisticated, dedicated, handsome, kind to animals and all-round wonderfully nice. Both would be happy, delighted, honoured and grateful to serve under the other even if it means making the tea.

Toby's Sunday light

Parliament House Canberra. The sale yards of the nation where there is no auctioneer, just political animals buying and selling each other for the polling booth slaughterhouse.

The atmosphere is electric as the final dice will be rolled this week and those who know what’s going on won’t say and those that don’t know what’s happening are eager to predict. Jockeying for position, betraying faiths, embracing moral bankruptcy, it's par for the course in this political barnyard of revulsion.

Our man Toby Jug is well connected in Canberra and given the confusion and fear about political careers, most of which dangle on fractured limbs like “rock-a-bye-baby-in-the-treetops” waiting for that fabled bough to break, Toby decided to use his connections.

Disguising himself as a zombie he passed unnoticed among the members of the Labor Caucus.

Carrying a hi-resolution spy camera disguised as a bunch of flowers, borrowed from a terrorist organization based in Australia, Toby declared himself as the official parliamentary, Labor appointed photographer for a sort of, end-of-school-year photo. Like they do with kindergarten.

Government spin doctor John McTernan approved Toby’s plan to snap random shots of MPs making vital decisions and steering the country toward prosperity. The masterpiece would be a panorama of Labor ministers in a mournful setting emulating the atmosphere of suspicion reminiscent of The Last Supper.

Labor is blue – through and through

By Perkin-Warbeck

Come September when we spring into Spring, we will all be able to give due honour, respect and love for somebody very important in our lives.

Naturally I refer to Father’s Day, the very first Sunday in September. After all, there’s no other event in September requiring us to show deference to, or respect for, any other sort of so-called authority figure.

In my case, it has been a good few years since my dear old dad went to his maker but I still make a point of thinking kindly thoughts about him on that special day. There was a time when I would give a lot of thought to an appropriate gift and, invariably, I would select a beautiful and tasteful tie. Quite a few were, I recall, blue.

Shorten - Australia's Maxwell Smart?

Included in a stack of released WikiLeaks cables was an account of Bill Shorten's meeting with US Consul-General Thurston. This report was made public in August 2011 in various publications including the Australian Financial Review.

It is to be wondered if Shorten's union mates know of that meeting and what was said? It looks like Bill's ambition for greatness is again being played out in his so far commitment to support Gillard. "Sorry Julia, they made me dump you." GC.Ed.@L.

Mr Shorten met with the US Consul-General in Melbourne Michael Thurston in June 2009.

Your rights at work

Justin Campbell puts his slant on the thorny issues of workplace relationships, the debate that just won't go away.

“Your rights at work” words that in 2007 brought down the Howard government. The idea that an individual statutory contract could remove pay and condition guaranteed under industrial awards and enterprise bargaining agreements was enough to get voters to take a chance on Labor. The idea that access to service or minimum conditions are “rights” has become so ingrained in our society that almost no one has challenged the notion that such conditions are rights or seriously raised the question do such rights violate peoples’ more fundamental rights.

Bill Shorten Picture in need of a Caption

The best caption will receive a signed copy of my first novel – Witch Doctor’s Vengeance.

Winner to be announced over the weekend.

Update:

Thank you to everyone who participated in the Bill Shorten Caption competition.

Our managing editor has selected a winner from a lot of very funny captions.

The winning caption is: Can we even afford the bullet now?

Entry 12 by Craig Buchanan.

Congratulations Craig.

We’ll do this Caption competition again. Should you happen to come across a picture in need of a caption involving a politician (Liberal, Labor, Greens and Independent), then please email me: asemple@menzieshouse.com.au

 

Andy Semple 

Follow him on twitter @Bulmkt