Introducing the Fliz

Toby likes gadgets. And, like all Australian boys he has a shed down the back yard where he "invents" things. He says the Fliz is a fair dinkum product. It would surprise none if this was one of his creations that sprang from the Jameson bottle. Apart from Clover Moore there may be a paucity of investors and purchasers.

The Green/“small l” Liberal idea of heaven is one where the words “coal” and “oil” are legally offensive, where houses are made of mud brick, and there is no need for sewerage systems as all bodily wastes and bathwater are recycled in the herb garden. A golden place where all energy comes from wind and sunshine. The way it was when the Romans ruled the world. The good old days.

But even the purest never expected to feel that lump in the throat of sweet nostalgia at the news that the Germans have lurched back to the 18th Century and re-invented a bicycle with no pedals, no chains, no gears. Not even a saddle. It is called the “Fliz”
The inventor’s aim was to bring a ‘new driving experience’ and it cannot be denied that they have succeeded in a way that makes bike riders misty-eyed. Turnbull will love it. Bob Carr would be first in line to buy one. If they came as tandem it would no doubt suit bob Brown and partner.

 But they also claim that the Fliz provides a ‘comfortable ergonomic ride between running and bicycling’.
Comfortable?

 It appears that the rider, evidently a bondage freak, straps himself into this device. A nut-crushing suspension sling for the gentleman rider—a modified jock strap—holds him in position (and possibly agony) until the ride ends.

The Fliz has a feature that appeals to masochists everywhere. Should the rider go A over T kettle he is not able to get up unless he is the sort of stoic who can ignore a busted shoulder blade or neck.

How he manages on hills is not revealed in the promotional material. Apparently he simply carries the 30Kg device until the road flattens or drops. So sometimes the Fliz carries him, sometimes he carries the Fliz.
The idea has received some positive reactions. The Zero Population Growth people see fertility rates dropping and impotence rising, while Julia Gillard praises the German ingenuity. “A bicycle without pedals? Why it sounds just like the ALP!” A ship without a Kevin Rudder.

If you have an interest in other great inventions, click here

Comments

[Garry Nosworthy]

1.

What?? surely the green nutjobs don't have a problem with pedals, sprockets & drive chain? or could it be that these simple mechanical advantage devices remind them of the industrial revolution which changed the world forever.

[stop homosexualising our kids]

2.

inventors are subject to mockery but they take risks and when they succeed we all benefit. trial and error