Gather round children while Granny Gillard teaches you how to knit a tangled web sock.
Lesson one: Knit one, purl one. Now do that about 300 billion times and that's how much debt I'm going to leave you poor little darlings. You see, Aunty Julia is always thinking of your future, after I've grabbed my chunk.
Lesson two: The one I'm knitting in the picture is is a nose warmer. Remember children, if you tell lots porkies your nose will grow just like Pinocchio's did and you will need a nose warmer for this winter of my discontent.
And, my little do gooders, I have not used any live animals in that picture, the dog is stuffed, exactly the same as the government I lead today - maybe tomorrow - I dunno after that. And that lovely, old chair? Tim found it on the tip - it was free. As you can see children, Granny Gillard is always saving for your future.
And, kiddies, don't worry about me not having a job, I've put away a bloody bundle for me old age. It's been fun, bye for now and jolly good luck. And, don't let mummy or daddy vote for that naughty Mr. Rudd.