ACCORDING TO CROCKER
Every theatrical troupe has a “prop-room.” Most are poorly lit, dusty, barn-like structures that smell of camphor with the usual rows of costumes, furniture, stage backdrops, weapons and probably a whoopie-cushion or two.
Labor’s prop-room differs from the vaudeville tradition concentrating instead on political props like butchers’ knives, stilettos, shivs, and other tools of choice for the metaphoric assassin.
Also in the gloom are rows of old, oak wardrobes, mostly collected on council clean-up days. They hold special treasures; some are declared “National Treasures” and some are marked “never to be opened”, Lionel Murphy's, for example.
These are Labor’s props of last resort. They are fond reveries of Labor’s past leaders—some dearly departed. Watkins: 1904, Fisher: 1910, Hughes: 1915, Scullin: 1929, Curtin: 1941, Ford: 1945 and Chifley: 1945.
In the “used often” row, beside the vintage wheelchairs, are popular relics thought to be physically alive—although politically dead. Whitlam: 1972, Hawke: 1983, Keating:
The resurrection of Bob (the builder) Carr is a departure from the crusty old has-beens like Comrades Whitlam, Hawke and Keating who are regularly wheeled out and propped up at various events to infer solidarity during times of Party disaster. It is peculiar how political parties believe the populace will be moved, swayed and awe inspired by losers booted from office, despised, even hated for their ineptitude and arrogance.
Bob’s once athletic figure of yore has plumped a tad, perhaps the result of excess crackling gorged from the porcine coffers of Macquarie Bank, likening the statesman to the waffling, blunderer, Mr. Magoo.
A stroke of Gillard’s pen saw Mr. Carr wheeled directly into the Senate and the caviar Ministry for Foreign Affairs, all without electorate approval. Expedience sidestepped debate on his record of unresolved bungles and his abrupt, political abdication
Carr smugly views himself as an intellectual extraordinaire. Good at American history, bad at NSW administration as the reprehensible Orange Grove affair established. Still awaiting clarification: the resignation of Diane Beamer, and five colleagues: the unsafe rail bridges deception: 17 deaths at Campbelltown and Camden Hospital. That, and more smothered by cover-up and spin. Bob amassed a staff of 31 media minders—all practitioners of spin.
Carr quit politics in 2005 and with a haughty wave of the hand, dismissed his electorate of a decade saying, With malice to none and charity to all. Commendable words considering he murdered the ‘second home’ market in NSW and boldly purchased a house in New Zealand’s South Island getaway, for $330,000, avoiding over $10,000 in taxes because New Zealand had no stamp duty.
Perhaps ego driven, Carr exposed himself, never imagining he would again be in the political firing line when allowing parts of his private diary to be published in Labor Council historian Marilyn Dodkin’s book. Bob’s entries identify him as an, ‘obsessive poll-driven populist, often delighted at the media's superficiality.’
Touted by the sympathetic media as a brilliant political coup, Carr’s installation in early March to an imploding Labor Party was called a masterstroke that would kneecap the Abbott mob and halt the Party’s journey down the dunny.
However, “Bob the party doctor,” the messiah delivered to heal Labor’s woes has fallen short. While parting the political waters he blundered into the same cesspool of incompetence he fled in August 2005.
Carr’s “intellect” as applied to the handling of his foreign affairs duties must be questioned. With only one day on the job he managed to peeve Papua New Guinea with a frivolous comment. In a previous blog Carr wrote: The Dalai Lama is more a cunning monk than a holy man, I told an audience of 300 government students at the University of Sydney. Diplomatic indeed!
Following Carr’s first private meeting with Chinese leaders, he publicly blabbed details to the media causing an incident. When a young Brazilian was tasered and died in Sydney Carr sent condolences to parents via the Brazilian ambassador—the man had been reported as an orphan. Nice one Bob!
Jumping in with two feet he said, The Taliban didn't need to be included in security discussions about Afghanistan. A loose cannon on the deck, I'd say! Furthermore, commenting on the James Ashby lawsuit Carr saw fit to tweet, this Ashby seems more rehearsed than a kabuki actor. Taxpayers’ will pay lots for that prejudicial blunder.
Bob’s job description seems to be minister for everything as his frequency before cameras would indicate. It’s difficult to know if in his roll as Minister of Foreign Affairs, Bob is proffering Party policy beneficial to Australia or worldly matters according to the ideology of failed state premier.
Bob’s political comeback exhibits the skill of a huffing and puffing, punch-drunk boxer. Labor’s hope for a messiah is just one more bungle. Gillard’s Carr is a real lemon!
Thought for the week: The French, Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose, means, the more things change, the more they stay the same.